The Exceptional Little Guide To Think Positive Be Positive…(I Dare You To Try)

“For every day that there is sunshine, there will be days of rain, it’s how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.” ~ Joey Tolbert

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

Whenever life metaphorically throws me a curve ball, especially one that I’m not expecting, my natural response is one of angst. This curve ball is the crap that life can throw at us at times that can sway our moods into dynamic peaks and valleys.

Several years ago, I had a conversation with myself to not succumb to drastic peaks and valleys in my mood. Yes, I get in foul moods at times – who doesn’t? – but my grumpiness is short lived as my response is healthy. I was determined not to be like “Mr. PO’d”. You’ve seen him, that guy who is never happy and acts as if someone pissed in his Wheaties. Really, how could someone be so miserable.

Because of my total aversion to those who thrive on casting their bad moods on others, I wanted to do everything in my power not to become “persona non grata.” I also wanted to set a good example for my kids in how to use positivity as an advantage over the stuff life dumps on us.

Here’s how I stay positive:

1. Take good care of myself. It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising and getting enough rest. Even though I feel I have a long way to go in terms of the extent of my exercise and the total transformation of some lingering bad eating habits, I always experience so much positive clarity after a light and fulfilling meal and a brisk walk.
2. Remind myself of the the things I am grateful for. Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. When I take just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things a smile appears.
3. Look for the proof instead of making assumptions. A fear of not being liked or accepted used to consume me. That fear lead me to assume that I knew what others were thinking but I learned that my fears are not usually reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood was due to something you did or if a co-worker was secretly gossiping about you, speak up and ask them. Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.
4. Refrain from using absolutes. Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me!”? I’ve learned that thinking and speaking in absolutes like “always” and “never” makes the situation seem worse than it is and programs your mind into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.
5. Detach from negative thoughts. Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t judge them. If I notice myself having a negative thought, I detach from it, I witness it and I make up my mind not to follow it. This may take some practice but with repetition, it gets easier.
6. Squash the “ANTs”. In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life”, Dr. Daniel Amen talks about ‘ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me”, or “The boss wants to see me?, It must be bad!”. I have run across these situations on more than one occasion and I have learned that they are nothing more than ANTs and I squash them.
7. Practice appropriate lovin’, touchin’ & squeezin’. This applies to outward affection to friends and family. I don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug and neither do you. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones and even pets is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this very subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch.
8. Increase your social activity. By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness and you are exposed to a healthy alternative to keeping your mind positively active. I like to surround myself with positive people. It’s just a natural occurrence that I thrive off of their vibrant energy.
9. Volunteer for an organization or help another person. Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money or your resources. For example, I am sponsoring a young boy in Haiti who has experienced the devastation of their catastrophic earthquake. His name is Medellin. I’ll share more about him and the pressing needs in Haiti in a later post. Just know that the more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.
10. Use pattern interrupts to combat rumination. If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book or turn on some music.
    Several years ago, I thought I had a life debilitating illness and all I could do was ruminate. I found relief from my excessive worry when I would talk with a family member or friend. As it turns out, my self-diagnosis was incorrect and was given a clean bill of health.

“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”  ~ Maori Proverb

Be your own hero. Start pouring your heart into your efforts to exact change in your overall outlook. Start challenging yourself to see how quickly you can turn grumpiness into bliss. By efficiently thwarting negativity and always looking toward the sunshine you will be amazed how differently you look at the world.

See also:

Edit Your Thoughts, Think Positivity

A Beautiful Plan To Design A Positive Soul

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